Kick back and channel your fav comedian, not viral fear

Laughter in the form of satire is a way humans have coped with stress since the yawn of time.

Let’s take Weird Al Jankovic, for example, as an expert on mocking “serious” music. My favorite Weird Al spoof is “Eat It” … it’s the funniest. He mocks the silly snot out of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” You’ve got to Google it to get in on the fun. The choreography alone is worth the price of admission.

An old friend was a huge fan of the Steve Miller Band from back in the 70s. He was also a Peanuts cartoon fan. He decided to combine his two loves and sang, “I want to fly like a beagle ….”

Music is a valuable tool to just have fun, even if others never heard the song you are satirizing. Take for instance Mr. T from the old TV show The A Team? Coca-Cola asked him to do a theme song once and so he bellowed, “I’d like to teach the world to bling in perfect harmony.”

Speaking of the importance of fish in one’s diet, do anglers ever ask if God is real? Certainly not, they ask God to reel in that lunker.

I was looking through a farm catalog recently thinking I would raise rabbits. Then it hit me, as a newspaper page designer, the right thing to do would be to raise picas.

A few years back there were a series of commercials featuring gnomes being kidnapped from lawns and flown to different places in the world. A photo of the gnome was then sent to the gnome’s owner. Because I love photography, my idea is to gather about 20 or so gnomes of various sizes and place them in a circle.  “Gnomehenge” was born.

My Svedish Uncle Sven likes to mock frog-nosticators so he said to me one day, “What do you call a French psychic with a big nose?” … Nostrildamus. I reminded him that Sveden declared neutrality during WWII. Now they sell us Volvos and Abba records as penance.

Here’s a little known factoid about Juniper. It was such an important plant back in the day that the ancient astronomers named a planet after it.

When I retire I want to start a fowl farm. No, not a farm that smells bad, but one with chickens, ducks, etc. They will be fed a special diet of Stargate reruns and Fruitloops like O’neill used to eat on the show. My marketing strategy is simple, “For out of this world flavor, buy Poultrygeist!”

This is the time to channel your favorite comic, have a cold beer and dream the big dreams. Don’t allow this literal viral nightmare block your trip to the mountain top, even if it is a fantasy.

One day we’ll all wake up and, as CSN&Y would sing, Carry On.


NCW Media Managing Editor Gary Bégin is soley responsible for his opinions. Comments? Email All email received is subject to reprinting as a Letter to the Editor unless explicitly requested not to by the sender.

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